Saving Your Marriage by Yourself

Saving your marriage should be a team effort but your spouse is not giving you much attention. Your attempt to save your marriage alone is a notable and courageous pursuit because it takes an extremely courageous and determined spouse to do so. Still, there are things that you should NOT do when you are saving your marriage by yourself.

Here are four things you should avoid doing so that you can save your marriage by yourself.

1.       Avoid blaming your spouse. Blaming your spouse or yourself will not save your marriage. It could be harmful to exhibit such attitude because blaming and criticizing are negative actions that can kill any motivation from your spouse to preserve your marriage. It is easier to shift the blame on someone else rather than accept the fault. But in trying to save your marriage, taking the courage to admit your own fault can be a great beginning for reconciliation.

So, even if your spouse should be blamed for your marital problems, don’t! Blame fuels divorce and is not a good way to save your marriage.

2.       Avoid insisting your own way. Instead, decide to look for a better way to bring about a positive change in your marriage. Saving your marriage by yourself means change. Don’t insist that you are always right or that your ways are the best way. Find ways to do things differently. There are many things that couples are aware of what they should or should not be doing when saving their marriage. It is difficult to take the step towards that direction but make your first step and your spouse would definitely learn to walk with you towards reconciliation.

3.       Avoid carrying your marital problems alone. Enlist the help of a professional marriage counselor. They are trained individuals and with their experiences and skills, they can help you in your situation. You can start seeing a counselor even without your spouse. When you start to apply the advice given to you by your counselor your spouse will see some changes in you and it won’t be long that your spouse will be joining you in your efforts to save your marriage.

4.     Avoid doing nothing. Take action. Sometimes, the hurts and pains you experience can cause you to have what experts call “analysis paralysis.” With the overwhelming emotions going on, couples never attempt to take a crucial step to save their marriage. Don’t be deceived that your problem will resolve itself. This will never happen. Even if your spouse is unwilling at first, your positive actions tell a great deal on how committed you are in saving your marriage by yourself. Your effort will pave off eventually.