Steps to Save a Marriage

There may be a lot of reasons why it happened. It may be because your partner did not give you enough attention or you were tempted in your weakest moment. Perhaps, the stressful, long nights at the office or the disharmony at home motivated it. The affair might have started with coffee, an invitation from an old friend or connecting with your high school sweetheart through a social network. Whatever your reason for doing what you did, it’s not important now. The question that matters at the moment is, “Are you willing to take the steps to save a marriage tainted by adultery?”

Anger, frustration, depression- these are just some of the feelings your wife is feeling upon knowing of your little trysts. But if you know that it’s her you love and the mistake you did is something you would never do again, then you have to take the steps to save a marriage tainted by the scarlet letter.

Here’s what you can do:

Apologize for your errors in words. Some would say that action speaks louder than words. That may be true, but your wife is hurting and hearing that you are actually repentant of what you did, should somehow lessen the pain. Your “I’m sorry’s” might be a little hard to take at first. After all, you have done something almost unforgivable. But stick to it, apologize, and reassure her that it won’t happen again.

Apologize for your errors through actions. Be patient if it seems you are talking to a wall sometimes. Forgiveness is a process. Be extra sweet to her. Hold her hand, hug her, be there for her. Even if she doesn’t talk to you, stay. Help her around the house. Respect her pain. Know that it would take time before she heals.

Get Professional Help. If it seems that both of you are not getting anywhere in your way to fixing your marriage, employ the help of a professional marriage counselor. An outsider looking in might be what both of you need. Marriage counselors are trained to help you and your spouse resolve your issues.

Resolve to be a better Spouse. Now that everything’s been said and done, resolve to be a better husband. Don’t open yourself to temptation; change jobs if you have to, close your social network account if that is a weak chain in your resolution. There may be drastic changes you need to do to be a better husband; but if your marriage is important to you, you have to make these changes. Give your wife credit for taking a brave step to forgiving and trusting you again.

These steps to save a marriage should be your guide in getting out from a place of sin; but your job as a husband does not stop here. Remember your marriage vows, and stay true to your wife and to yourself.