Adult Children Moving Back Home

Even prior to the economic downturn, kids were returning home… “It’s too expensive out there!”
Ellen Gibran-Hesse, author of Failure to Launch: How to Get Your Teens and Young Adults to Independence agrees with me that as parents we have enabled our children to remain dependent.  Parents are continuing to support their adult children beyond what is necessary.  They are denying their children the experience of “roughing it” and earning their way.    When we are sitting around reminiscing as adults – how many of our stories are about when we first started out?  The good ole days when we had card board boxes as end tables, crates for book shelves, bean bags and pillows for sofas
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Many want to point their fingers at the young adults, blaming them for taking advantage of the generosity of their parents. I am afraid, I hold the parents responsible.  This dependency started many years prior to the post college years.  We begin teaching independence in elementary school.  We begin teaching about financial responsibility when we start paying an allowance.  We teach personal responsibility when we expect them to be productive members of the family which includes chores, responsibilities for younger siblings, and respect for others.

If you have an adult child living with you… expect them to be productive members of the family.  Expect them to contribute in as many ways as they can to benefit the family.  Communicate with them what the expectations are and how long this arrangement will be available to them.   If you have not taught this independence earlier, then teach it now.